Language investigation 2.

My experiences in inner city schools, have shaped my passion to become a teacher. Before my teachers “discovered” that I lived in a two parent home, I was tracked in “remedial” courses. My test scores were always above average; however, my father was the only parent listed on my emergency contact sheet. Thus, this student must have “special needs” because she has one parent at home. As a result, I have experienced both the “gifted” route of education, and the “remedial” route of education. In the basic classes I took in elementary school, I always was ahead of my classes, participated, and did my homework. I can recall not doing a lot of reading. Instead, I played hooked on phonics games and card games (this is how I learned to play dominoes so well).

My cousins, who were deemed “gifted” were reading Moby Dick, and they would tell me the adventures of Moby Dick, whenever they visited my home. By seeing their homework (math, reading texts, practicing cursive, etc), I knew I did not belong in class I was placed in. My cousins, who were in the same grade as me, were not smarter than me; but they still had privileges I did not have, and desperately wanted. In class, there were rules and regulations we had to follow. Besides the basic ‘raise your hand before you speak”, we were never allowed to use the computers in the back of the class, check out books in the library (unless there was a note from the teacher), or use the e-listening books that my cousins used.

Once I became a “gifted” student, however, I realized how far behind I was from the other students in my grade level. My elementary school, which was primarily African American did not prepare me for the curriculum in my predominantly white middle school. I felt incompetent sitting behind students who had read and wrote essays from Twain. I was embarrassed that I did not know cursive hand writing well, and that I was clueless about a five paragraph structure. Thus, I became the kid in Rose’s book, who “just wanted to be average”. I missed my Black school, where I was the best, “remedial” student. I missed sitting in the front of class, playing hooked on phonics (I was pretty hooked on phonics). Most importantly, I missed feeling welcomed; special.

So, in high school, I went back to the “black” school: with no books, inadequate teachers, short lesson plans and standardized tests that told me I was proficient in come subjects. I went back to feeling “needed”. Looking back, I know I would have been a better student if I would have stayed in white schools, but being in Black schools, with impoverished facilities, made me a stronger person; a person who learned how to bend, twist and shape the rules to seek answers; a person who was ready for college. By being in schools where I had to fight for resources, I was not intimidated going to a big university. I had the confidence of a lion, but the skills of a goat!

Although I was still in the gifted program in high school, when I took the AP tests, and earned scores of one, I knew I would have a rude awakening in college, which I did. My first AP test was a slap in the face. I did not read or even know most of the texts like the Scarlet Letter. I never heard of Keats and Wordsworth, so I did not know how to analyze similar texts on the AP language and Literature tests. However, after earning my low, low scores, I googled AP reading lists, read the suggested texts, and earned a 4 and 5 on my tests. I learned how to be independent, which was the greatest tool coming from a “bad” school.

From being independent, I have become a decent college writer (understatement). I learned to be passionate about all my writing so the audience can connect with the text, and feel close to the characters/ subject matter. I have learned about audience, and the significance of structure to suit the audiences’ biases/ perspectives. Most importantly, I have learned to be open minded as a writer; to embrace all genres of literature to have a diverse writing style. I was not exposed to many artists and essayists in high school, but I am glad I have had the opportunity in college.

Language Investigations: What the Hell is African American Language?

What the hell is African American Language? I have been a so called ‘African American’ since I burst out of my mother’s womb, and I never knew we had a language. That is, until I entered elementary school, middle school and high school, and was taught that the language I used at home was savage and uncivilized to use in the classroom. Also, that African American language was both inappropriate and conventionally wrong to use in writing.

While forced to undergo the African American English Mastery Program (A.E.M.P): a program inner city schools force the poor Negro kids to take, so they can learn how to talk like white folks, attempted to brain wash me to believe that Black people spoke like buffoons. Watching movies like Gone With the Wind, Beloved and Roots; reading text books and journals published by the American Folklore Society and Zora Neale Hurston; reading plays like a Raisin in the Sun and The Piano Lesson, showed me that white folks must really think that Black people cannot read critically, or speak eloquently. Further, white folks expected blacks to speak like dumb slaves “I’se be hungry today... massah gon’ beat mah butt” etc. The whole notion that African American speech is inappropriate, and that African Americans used slave dialect in everyday discourse has always disengaged me from literacy and pedagogy. Thus, the question arises: who makes language appropriate? And why is African American Language deemed savage and unconventional?

I belong to a community where a combination of ‘slang’ and “standard” English is used. Note* I define slang as parts of words, or phrases that express joy, sadness or anger, while standard English is a euphemism my teachers used to substitute for white, meaning better than black. My friends and I use phrases such as: “Hey girl what’s good” to question what new event happened or “all bad” to express disdain. Words like “ma” for mother “pa” for father “homie” for friend, “crib” for house, are common in dialogue between younger Blacks (age 11-25). We use words these words, because they are popular terms in the music the majority listen to (rap and R&B.)

Mid-ranged Blacks (ages 26-40) use words closely related to the younger generation, but the way in which they organize the words vary. Example: a teenage boy who is trying to pursue a teenage girl may say “what’s good ma? You lookin’ fly”. And she may reply “Nothin’ much. I been posted like a stamp”. A Mid ranged Black male will never speak to a mid ranged Black woman this way. Instead he may say “Hey. You look real nice today. Do you wanna get some coffee later on”. And she may reply “thanks. Coffee would be nice”.

Older Blacks (ages 41+) use less slang, and more colloquialisms and quotes to get their message across. Example: an older black man will call his wife “ole lady” and an older black woman will call her husband “an old goat”. Older black people do not say “cool”, (like younger and mid range Blacks). Older Blacks use “hip” or “jive”. An older Black would say “cat daddy” to say “homie” or friend. And their residence is not a “crib” or “place”. It is a “home”.

The generation within the Black community greatly affects the way we speak to one another. Older Blacks try and use standard English more than mid ranged or younger Blacks, for they were reared in periods in American history where ‘talking black’ was deemed ghetto and savaged. The older the Black man or woman is, the more you see they are conditioned to hate black culture. Mid-ranged Blacks use a bit of slang, but again, they got reprimanded by their parents for using slang, or ‘talking black’ so they use more standard English than younger blacks. And the majority of younger blacks, unfortunately, are reared by their grandparents who are older and tired from working for so long, or a single parent who works so many jobs that grammar and literacy are not significant. Thus, the notion of talking black has become a trend and not something worth being punished for.

Even with the use of slang, and the differences of discourse between Blacks, it is still unjust to say our language is flawed, and that another culture’s (white) is better. So, what the hell is African American Language? And who decides what language should be standard and acceptable?

Silent Voices, Silent People: Being Black at a White University

All summer, you dream of how your first day at Colorado State University will be. You envision meeting new people, being involved in leadership organizations, and participating in every sporting event. Ultimately, you saw yourself “fitting in”. You never imagined, however, walking around campus and finding no one who looks like you. Your dream did not include attending history class, and seeing all the white faces stare at you when slavery is discussed. In reality, attending a predominantly white university means that you, the minority, will never feel a sense of belonging. You, the minority, will never “fit in”. You, (the minority) must challenge the stereotypes that accompany your race; your identity. Moreover, you, the minority must identify the micro aggressions around you, in order to adapt to the racial climate at your university.

In 1975, Dr. Chester Pierce , psychoanalyst and ethnic studies professor at the University of California Berkeley, defined micro-aggressions as subtle insults (non verbal, verbal, and visual) directed towards people of color, often automatically or unconsciously. Pierce notes, “micro aggression may seem harmless, but the cumulative burden of a lifetime of micro aggressions can theoretically contribute to diminished mortality, augmented morbidity, and flattened confidence”(Pierce, 1995, p.281).

As an African American student at Colorado State University, a predominantly white university, I can relate to feeling “invisible”. There is the presence of this invisible wall separating me from the majority of students. This wall, (which unconsciously reinforces the idea of white superiority opposed to my own inferiority), conditioned me to believe that I could not be successful at Colorado State, and would never “fit in” because I am Black. This wall, formed by white students whose looks show that they are surprised that I can speak eloquently; this wall builds when a Black author is discussed in poetry class and every student expects me to have already read it and analyzed it; this wall, unfortunately is the foundation of the modern racism: micro aggressions.

From this wall, I consciously began distancing myself from my white peers, sitting in the back of my history class, and becoming an outcast to society by locking myself in my dorm.
Micro aggressions use to prevent me from being confident and assured, until I recognized that racism in America is no ancient secret. Every time I am the only minority in the mall, in class and at restaurants, I am aware of the looks, stares and even blatant disdain from whites. Still, I bought clothes, performed well, and ordered food. So what makes being a Black student at Colorado State University any different? After being discriminated against for centuries, minorities should be accustomed to racism, right?

Unfortunately, racist acts are not as overt and blatant as the past. As French psychologists Le Colonel Chabert insists,“ instead of whites lynching negroes, they have unconsciously created a barrier between themselves and minorities, which makes intercommunication relations impossible” (Chabert. 2007, p.48) Therefore minorities must have the capacity to identify micro aggressions, in order to be successful at Universities dominated by whites.

Introduction

Hello! My name is Elysse Evans, and I am a freshmen at the greatest GREEN University in the country: Colorado State University! I am really looking forward in teaching high school, while attending law school. In the near future, I plan on making a difference in the lives of inner city children, who voices are silenced by inequalities in our education system. My primary goal, as a professional teacher, is to challenge my future students to think, read and write critically; to analyze and question traditional theories, books, and ideologies. Further, to expose them to new environments and new ways of thinking, to give them the tools needed to succeed in college.